Fall (Hold #3) Read online

  This clearly confused Rone, who kept trying to offer her more food—roasted meat, stew, bread, roots—but she just shook her head.

  After her emotional upheaval the night before with the stillborn baby and her fight with Rone, she simply had no appetite at all.

  She didn’t stay up to listen to the storytelling or music that evening. She was exhausted so she went to bed early. She was still awake, however, when Rone came to bed an hour or so later.

  When he got under the covers, he turned her over and started to rub his face against hers, the way he always did. It was his version of foreplay.

  Under normal circumstances, she enjoyed it. Sometimes, he went slow enough to turn her on, and she appreciated that he was never rough or mean.

  But there was absolutely no way she could have sex with him tonight. It wasn’t that she was holding a grudge. It was that she was too upset to open up her body to him.

  She gently pushed him away.

  He gave an indignant huff and tried to move over her again.

  “No,” she said, keeping her voice soft so no one else in the cave could hear. She might be rejecting him, but she wasn’t going to do it in front of the entire tribe. “No.”

  Frowning, he reached out to curve his big hand around the side of her ribs. “Lenna Rone mate.”

  “Yes, Lenna Rone mate. No fuck Rone.” Their word for sex was harsh and crude sounding, so she always interpreted it as fuck rather than sex. She paused, searching her mind for one of the words Desh had taught her that afternoon. “No fuck Rone now.”

  She met his eyes, praying he’d understand. She knew she was walking a tightrope wire here. If Rone decided she wasn’t a mate to him, he could very likely move on to someone else.

  But she couldn’t—she just couldn’t—have sex with him right now.

  He kept his hand on her ribs, but he didn’t try to move over her again. “Lenna Rone mate,” he said, very softly, his eyes searching her face.

  “Yes,” she murmured. “Lenna Rone mate.”

  He let out a breath and relaxed back onto the bed, his expression sober and confused.

  She lay beside him, staring up at the ceiling of the cave, wondering how she had even gotten here.

  A few months ago, she’d been on her own ship, doing a normal job, minding her own business—surrounded by a civilized world. Yes, the world was dominated by an oppressive regime, but at least she knew what to expect from people and she’d been dependent on no one.

  She was dependent now. She was dependent on this man beside her.

  And in the deepest, most important ways, she couldn’t understand him at all.

  ***

  The next morning, Rone left with a hunting party, so she had a temporary reprieve from him for two days.

  At the end of the second day, the men returned in victory—having killed the largest animal she’d ever seen on the planet. It was twice the size of that wildebeest Rone had killed the previous month. It looked like a woolly rhinoceros.

  Whatever it was, it was clear that the kill was a rare feat and a cause for great celebration.

  They built a huge bonfire and feasted and laughed and blew on bone flutes. Some of them even got up and danced in front of the fire, which she’d never seen any of the Kroo do before.

  They celebrated well into the night. Lenna tried very hard to act normal with Rone. She wasn’t angry with him anymore, but she still felt strange and unsettled about him—like he was a stranger she was going through life with.

  She hadn’t felt that way about him before, so she tried to force herself back to normal, but it still seemed like she was just going through an act.

  He appeared pleased that she ate and smiled and sat next to him, although every once in a while she’d catch him peering at her face in the firelight, like he was trying to read her mind.

  The festivities were wilder than any she’d ever witnessed from the tribe before, and her eyes widened in shock when two of the young, unclaimed women took off their clothes to dance. They were very young. They couldn’t have been more than sixteen years old.

  She wasn’t at all happy about the fact that Rone was watching them.

  All the men were watching them. No one seemed to think it was strange. But Lenna didn’t like it, so she got up on the pretense of relieving herself.

  Mostly, she just wanted to get away for a few minutes. Hopefully, when she returned, the girls would have stopped dancing and put their clothes back on.

  After all, it was cold tonight.

  She waited several minutes, just on the outskirts of the firelight, and then she returned to the circle of the tribe. When she reached them, she jerked to a sudden stop, staring in astonishment at what was happening.

  One of the young women—Sorel was her name, Tamen’s daughter, who used to come on to him before he’d taken Lenna as a mate—was standing over Rone, stroking his hair, his face.

  Rone. Lenna’s mate. That shameless girl was all over him.

  She knew objectively that this happened. Unless a woman had already been claimed as a mate, she was allowed to show interest to any man she wanted—even if the man was taken. After all, a man was allowed to move on to a new mate whenever he wanted.

  Obviously, Sorel had decided she wanted Rone to move on, and she was making her play for him right there in front of the tribe, beautiful and nubile and naked.

  And Rone was looking up at Sorel, doing absolutely nothing.

  Nothing.

  Not pushing her away. Not removing her hands from his face.

  Nothing.

  Lenna burned with outrage, astonishment, and something akin to betrayal.

  Rone was supposed to be her mate.

  Mara had been watching the proceedings with a frown on her face, and she was the first one to notice Lenna’s return. She stiffened, looking between Rone and Lenna.

  This evidently clued the rest of the tribe in because everyone looked over toward Lenna.

  She stood there frozen, staring at Rone, whose eyes had moved in her direction. His back straightened up and his expression changed. He looked almost expectant.

  She had no idea what she was supposed to do, but she couldn’t believe that Rone wasn’t pulling away from Sorel. Lenna was standing right there. The least he could do was feel shame for letting her touch him that way.

  The swell of indignation and betrayal grew so intense in her chest, in her throat, that she couldn’t even breathe. She made a choked sound, trying to open up her windpipe.

  Rone still didn’t move, although something was transforming in his expression as she stood motionless. In a different situation, she would have thought it was disappointment, but that couldn’t be what she was seeing in him now.

  Maybe he was tired of her. Maybe he wanted to move on to Sorel.

  If he did, there was nothing she could do about it.

  The truth hit her so hard she could barely control herself. She had to turn away, stumble toward the cave, so she wouldn’t break down in front of everyone.

  It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. If Rone didn’t want her anymore, then that was just fine. He would still be obliged to take care of her. She just wouldn’t have to put up with his obnoxious peering and possessiveness anymore.

  She hadn’t even made it to the cave when she heard a voice behind her, but—to her disappointment—it wasn’t Rone.

  It was Desh.

  “Damn it, Lenna,” he muttered, “you’ve got to go back there right now.”

  “What are you talking about? Rone was the one getting felt up by another woman.”

  “Girls do that all the time.” Desh looked unexpectedly urgent, far more urgent than she’d seen him before. He was breathless. He must have run to catch up to her. “That’s what they do. But he’s your mate, and if you don’t act like you want him, then he’s going to assume you don’t care.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “He’s yours, and someone else is trying to take him. You’re okay wi
th that?”

  “No, I’m not okay with it.” Her voice was hoarse, and she had to swipe away a stray tear, but she hadn’t lost control. “But he’s capable of controlling himself, you know.”

  “He hasn’t done anything. He’s done nothing but sit there and wait for you to come back. But right now he thinks you don’t want him. That’s what you told him by walking away.”

  “I don’t—“ She broke off, suddenly understanding that she’d completely misinterpreted everything. She’d been assuming these people acted like the people she was used to.

  And they didn’t.

  She knew they didn’t.

  “You just told him—in front of the entire tribe—that you don’t want him.”

  “I do want him,” she breathed.

  “So go show him that.” Desh seemed to be hiding a smile now, but Lenna was too distracted to really notice.

  She took a shaky breath, turned back around, and hurried toward the bonfire.

  Everyone was still in roughly the same position. Sorel was still petting at Rone’s hair, but he was hunched over, frowning down at the ground, rather than looking at her, and he briefly swatted away her hand, like she was pestering him but he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

  Lenna knew what to do.

  She marched back into the circle of the tribe, and they all fell silent as she approached. Without pausing, she pushed Sorel away from Rone and she slapped the hands that had been touching him.

  Not gently.

  “No,” Lenna said sharply, glaring coldly at Sorel. “Rone Lenna mate. No Sorel. No Sorel.”

  A low murmur rippled out from the others in response to this, and Rone straightened up, his face transforming to something like awe as he gazed up at her.

  Sorel made a face, and she glanced briefly down at Rone, as if to gauge his level of interest in her.

  Rone didn’t appear to be aware that Sorel existed in the world. He was smiling up at Lenna and reaching to pull her down beside him.

  Lenna was pleased and proud and relieved—and a little bit embarrassed by the whole episode. But she couldn’t regret anything when she saw that look in Rone’s eyes.

  She’d been stupid to doubt him. He obviously didn’t want anyone for a mate but her.

  He’d just been needing to see that she wanted him too.

  ***

  Later that evening, when they went to bed, she let Rone rub himself all over her body as he took her clothes off. She clung to him, stroked him eagerly. Then, for the first time, she pushed him onto his back and rose up over him.

  He stared up at her, his eyes hot but his expression confused. When he tried to sit up, probably to get into his normal position on his knees between her legs, she held him down and straddled him.

  He made a choked sound of pleasure as she took his cock in her hands. She held him between her palms as she leaned down over him and started to rub him all over, the way he’d always done her.

  “Rone Lenna mate,” she said, as she rubbed his chest with her cheek and jaw. “Rone Lenna mate.”

  “Yes. Yes. Lenna,” he gasped, his big body tightening like a fist. “Lenna mate.”

  Her pussy, her whole body, was throbbing almost painfully, and she couldn’t wait any longer. She lifted her hips enough to slide herself down over him, sheathing his cock with her body. Both of them moaned as she fit herself around him.

  Rone arched his back and grabbed for the furs beneath them, obviously unused to this position. His eyes crawled from her flushed face and down to her bare breasts, and even lower to where they were joined as she started to ride him.

  She was tight and wet around him, and she could already feel an orgasm coiling inside her. Her rhythm was fast and hard, causing her breasts to jiggle and her breath to come out in loud huffs.

  Rone was grunting loudly as he lifted his hands to hold her by the ribs. He never closed his eyes. He never looked away from her.

  Soon, she was so close she was almost sobbing with it. She moved one hand so she could rub her clit urgently.

  The orgasm broke fast and hard, and she bit back a long, low groan as her body shook helplessly through the spasms. Rone was pretty far gone himself, but when her vision cleared she saw that his brow was lowered in that way it did when he was confused by something.

  She kept riding him as her pussy clamped down around him even more tightly, and then he moved a hand to where hers had been, rubbing her the way she’d been doing to herself. She helped him find her clit and then moaned as he massaged it enthusiastically.

  She came again, biting down hard on her lower lip as the pleasure overwhelmed her. She didn’t want to be too loud. They were surrounded by other people. It was dark, and no one paid much attention to other couples having sex, but still… women didn’t normally scream during sex in this tribe.

  Rone came with her this time, letting out a loud helpless sound as his hips jerked through his climax. She collapsed on top of him afterwards, breathless and deliciously sated.

  He stroked her back and her hair, mumbling, “Rone mate. Rone mate.”

  She figured that, for him, this was an expression of affection. They didn’t seem to have a word for love in this tribe, but at least this was close. She pressed a kiss on his shoulder, and then lifted her head so she could kiss him on the lips.

  He still didn’t seem to know what to do with kisses, but he smiled and ran his hand down her hair, holding his head in place like he wanted her to kiss him again.

  She did. “Lenna mate,” she told him, feeling flushed and sore and so much better than she had for the last few days.

  Rone was different from what she was used to, but he wasn’t as different as she’d thought.

  Six

  A few weeks later, Lenna woke up shivering.

  She was pressed up against the wall of the cave, clinging to a piece of animal skin that barely covered her body, and her teeth were chattering so hard it woke her up.

  As she turned over, she knew what had happened. Rone must have rolled over and taken all the covers with him.

  She tugged at the corner of animal skin as hard as she could, pulling enough to make Rone grunt and roll over onto his back. Then she scooted over closer to him so she could cover herself up and take advantage of the heat from his body.

  It must be almost time for them to get up, but they’d had a major snow storm three days ago, and so they’d been stuck in the cave since then. A few of the men had dug their way out enough to dispose of waste, but no one else had left the cave in three days.

  There was no sense in hurrying to get up this morning.

  Her attempt to claim more covers woke Rone up. He was shifting beside her now and clearing his throat. Her teeth still chattering, she moved even closer to him, pleased when he rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around her.

  “Lenna cold,” she whispered through her shivering.

  “Lenna cold like ice.” He tightened his arms, evidently concerned by the fact that she was shivering so intensely. “No good.”

  She’d finally learned enough of the language to realize that it did include similes, which was their primary method of describing feelings. “Rone stole blankets.”

  He huffed in amusement and rubbed her back and her arms for a few minutes until she finally stopped shivering.

  When she was able to relax, she adjusted her position so she was lying more comfortably against him. Feeling a wave of familiarity and affection, she pressed a little kiss against his chest. “Lenna warm now. Glad Rone here.”

  He nuzzled her hair. “Glad Lenna here. Lenna home.”

  She’d never been exactly sure what the last word he said meant. She’d heard it only occasionally, and Desh had told her he thought it meant home.

  Her chest and belly started to flutter in a very strange way at the words and the hoarseness of Rone’s voice. No matter how much she appreciated him, it wasn’t like she could really fall in love with him. She knew he was intelligent—probably the smartest man in
this cave other than Desh—but his life, his world, was so much smaller, simpler, harsher than hers.

  This just wasn’t her home. She would always be a stranger here.

  She’d known Rone for more than three months now—been his mate for more than two. And yet she still knew so little about him.

  For some reason, this fact bothered her a lot, so she sorted through her vocabulary in her mind for a minute until she was able to ask, “Where cave Rone born?”

  He turned his head to peer at her face, clearly surprised by the question.

  She tried again, making sure she enunciated correctly, in case he hadn’t understood. “Where cave Rone born?”

  “No cave.” He met her eyes and said a word she didn’t understand.

  She frowned and shook her head.

  He repeated the word twice and lifted up the covers so they were tented above them in the bed.

  That she understood. “Tent,” she said, trying out the new word. “No cave. Tent.”

  He nodded. “Tribe no cave. Walk always. Follow herds. Sleep tents. Far distance.”

  This made sense to her. From the little she knew about hunter-gatherer societies, most were at least semi-nomadic, following their source of food as it migrated with the seasons.

  Now that she thought about it, the Kroo must have prime real estate, to have access to food most of the year round in this one protected location.

  “Rone glad cave?” she asked, wondering if he missed his old life, his old tribe. “Rone glad Kroo?”

  “Yes. Rone glad cave. Rone glad Kroo.” He let out a long breath. “Tribe Rone born… hard like stone.” He patted his chest to make it clear where his old tribe had been hard. “Kroo good. Cave good. Lenna good.”

  She pressed another little kiss onto his chest, touched and amazed by this clear evidence that she was one of the reasons Rone was happy here.

  “Lenna born cave?”

  She shook her head.

  “Tent?”

  “No.” She had to search for things in his world that she could compare an Earth city with. “Tent hard like stone. Big like mountain.”

  His eyes widened. “Where?”